Category Archives: News

A contest for a contest

Bonjour!

Increasingly, I have been prodded by a certain corner of a book to send appreciation to our viewers. I’m not sure why just spending my time here, trapped in a dark room1, writing about a strange girl isn’t appreciation enough, but I am bidden to do something special.

What this indignant book doesn’t know is that “something special” takes more effort than just saying it (or, in this case, writing it)2. Therefore, I’ve decided to gauge if you, my readers, actually would express interest to a contest. A contest for a contest, as I say.3

It is simple. You can enter the contest here by answering a couple of questions.

Then, you are eligible for the prize: a small drawing of your character, like this example:

The deadline is August 20th.

Rules:

  1. One entry per person.
  2. Chosen character must be a humanoid.
  3. Nothing pornographic.

As these results will determine if a future contest will ever be established, please answer in earnest.

Wistfully,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) Trapped? Do not amuse me further! I have no words. 2) Please, and what else do you do all day? Organizing something is surely just a terrible task upon your shoulders, isn’t it? 3) Ugh.


1 Year Anniversary!

Bonjour!

Today is the anniversary of this biography. I can’t believe it’s been a year and I am still here, drawing this. I suppose being a slave to a book is the reason why1.

Thank you for reading this tale. I hope to keep seeing more and more people interested in Ephelia’s journey. There’s a lot more I have yet to draw2… Ephelia has had a long trip.

Here is the finished picture from the “stream” a few weeks ago! There is also a wallpaper version in the Extras section.

Hurray,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) How does a book enslave you? Do elaborate. I have no arms. 2) Then cease being so painfully slow at everything!


Con-Fusion Results

Bonsoir!

Anime Midwest went well for us! You can check out the photos here (the only ones that weren’t horrid and blurry, anyway).

We hope to see more people at other conventions1.

Sincerely,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) Despite the fact that no one lives in the vicinity. They all reside in what is called the “west coast.”


Con-Fusion

Bonjour. Bouquin told me to write this and I think I am writing this correctly but I don’t know for sure because I don’t know what it’s talking abou

I am here to relay important information for humans.

A visit has been determined for Anime Midwest on July 3rd. Booth status invalid. However, “cool” paraphernalia is to be given to other humans.

Should there be humans near “Chicago” that also plan to attend such events, I suggest to notify us.1

Bouquin's signature

1) Else you do not receive “cool” paraphernalia.


La Fin: May Madness

Bonjour, I come bearing bad news.

As you might have realized, the end of May soon approaches, and this means the end of May Madness.

We will return to Thursdays only for the update schedule (and I can rest my arm, now)1.

I’ve been working too much. I wish I could draw with my own body fluids, too, without lifting a finger2.

Exhausted,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) You barely do anything you lazy neanderthal. You should be grateful that you have arms. 2) What is that? You want to be a book? Surely you would love to take my place. Go on, let’s trade bodies – do you regret your decision?


May Madness

Bonjour.

It feels so long since I wrote something. Then again, nothing comparatively interesting could happen after my adventures with Ephelia. Now, I’m stuck1 here, writing this – not exactly an exciting life.

I’m excited to tell you that for the month of May we will have updates again on both Tuesday and Thursday! I’ve been slacking2 on trying to figure out what to call it. Maybe I should go back to using “Madness?” May Madness it is!

It has been a bit of a struggle around here lately with Bouquin, trying to get pages done in time3. I had to think about if May Madness was possible or not. Thankfully, Aluna looked to our favour.

Your writer,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) Stuck? Stuck? You? Stuck. You, stuck. Look at me, look at yourself, then re-read what you just wrote. 2) Unable to register surprise. 3) Whose fault is this? Certainly not mine.


La Fin: March Something

As usual, bonjour.

I often forget the date. I almost lost track of the day, but I remembered that today is the last day of March Something.

So, I’m here to remind you all that we will return to Thursdays only for the update schedule.

Ephelia once told me (actually, several times, now that I recall it) that I am rather perceptive1. I don’t necessarily think too much of it, but I’ve noticed a pattern since January: my habit is that every other month is a special occasion like this2.

Now, I’m not saying that is going to be the norm3. But with any luck, perhaps the next occasion shall be in May? No promises!

Just a pattern-seeker4,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) This was most likely stated in an effort to mask your worthlessness and create an illusion of value for you. Do not think so highly of yourself. 2) Any idiot could see this! How narcissistic could you be! 3) Then why say it? This surely must be what humans call “teasing,” is it not? 4) Oh, get over yourself.


March Something

Bonjour mon public!

Just as I promised, the so-called surprise at the end of February is this message: March Madness is in store for you! I’ve received suggestions that maybe it should have some alliteration, so maybe I should just call it March Mania?1 I don’t know anymore.

What I do know is that we will be updating on both Tuesday and Thursday again for the month of March!

I know what you are thinking: “Lily, why can’t you just permanently make it two days a week like all the other things I read? I also don’t know who you even are yet!”2 And to that I say that I am simply trying!

Drawing this biography takes a substantial amount of time, and between that, putting up with a pretentious very intelligent book3 and other responsibilities I have make it difficult to persistently make two pages a week. I would like to present pages to you, audience, as fast as I can4, but I also don’t want to start giving bad quality because of missing deadlines (mostly because I don’t want to die in my sleep).

Until then, please enjoy reading.

Your humble artist,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) I feel that this route may uproot horrible opportunities involving a thesaurus and poor naming choices. 2) I see you have been comparing this trash to other stories. With how slow you complete this, there is little wonder why your audience is so small. 3) I require less maintenance than a piece of fruit you incompetent slime. 4) You are not even a character in the story yet. That is how slow you have been writing this.


La Fin: January Madness

Bonjour.

As you have all feared, the end of the month has reared its head1, and now you all may lament the passing of January Madness.

The schedule will return to only Thursdays for February. But don’t hang your head! There will be a surprise at the end of February2.

Thank you for reading.

Wishing for a vacation,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) Who even says this? Is the month in labour? Why would you write such terrible imagery? 2) I have heard rumours that our audience celebrates a day of love in the middle of the month. I suggest scheduling something appropriate for the holiday.

“Something appropriate?” Did you think I would draw something… obscene?

I was referring to the context of something appropriate for the holiday; not that kind of appropriate you brainless idiot. I am fairly certain my theory now is correct: the taller they are, the emptier the skull.


Holiday Festivities?

Bonjour!

I have been recently informed that your country celebrates a holiday where people drag a tree into their home and give each other gifts while drinking a liquid prepared with uncooked eggs1.

I’m not going to lie. That is very odd. Most people simply hope that they have enough rations for the winter to not starve to death in their houses. However, after being stabbed multiple times with the worn-down corner of a book that still feels just as sharp as ever2 helpfully reminded of the holiday season that you all celebrate, I’ve decided to give all of you a gift as well. No, it isn’t wrapped in colourful paper like your gifts are, but just imagine that it is.

Here it is – coming next year, we will have January Madness! If you recall from October Madness, this means the biography shall update twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday!

Are you excited?3 I can only hope so.

Happy holidays,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) I have experienced worse “traditions.” 2) Look at me. I am a book. It is you who inflicted such wounds upon yourself. 3) I see that dead look in your eye. Do not sigh at me. You started this. The logical conclusion is to finish it.4

4But you begged me to write this story. I’ve never seen you so desperate! You were acting like a little kid…